Of diamonds and poo

Still no change in the weather. She-human promised that there will be snow sooner or later. I really hope she is aware of my ignorance when it comes to delayed gratification. I want snow. Now. I don't think I've ever been so depressed by rain before. Even going out for a gluehwein or a rabbit hunt isn't fun in this weather. So in order to keep my mind engaged (and off the contents of the fridge) she-human reads me stories. I cannot bring myself to do the reading. Still burping up irregular verbs now and then.

Winter isn't coming

Winter in kraut-land is lame. Seriously, I don’t think it deserves the word winter at all. There might be other parts of this land where things are different, but right here in East-Westphalia it does nothing but rain. I went out into the woods to find some entertainment, maybe a monster to hunt, but there wasn’t any. Some rabbits, that’s it. Got wet and muddy feet and consequently into trouble when I came home.

Home alone? Never.

Please forgive me for not sharing anything with you for the last couple of days. No, wait, why am I apologizing? I am an orc, we don't do something like that. This human stuff is rubbing off on me in more than one way. The thing is: I had the flu. Again. (see last post) Never before in the 30 years I've haunted this world or any other did I have such an annoying illness. Being sick in any form is incredibly unorcish. The other members of the tribe would not let you live if they sensed a weakness. So in my world the flu would definitely be lethal. There is a strange thing about humans that they seem to care a lot for those who would not make it on their own otherwise.

self portrait

Who would have thought that painting a bloody picture could actually be a pain in the ... claw. If you're not sure what that is:

Me in a pink tutu. In order to amuse my human and kill her by making her laugh hysterically. Didn't work so far but was a close call.

the mucus monster

What exactly is the point of The Flu? What is it good for? And don't tell me it is my body fighting off an infection. I never had such a thing back home. And believe me, my world is a lot more dangerous than this one, at least for the individual. Mass destruction is your strong point, I got that. But the monsters in my world are proper monsters. Here you have the flu-monster. And lots of them. Indeed it is difficult to fight them off when you can't see them. Maybe it is all a big lie and was just cursed by an evil witch. Sounds far more likely than invisible bacteria.