2014/09/22

Vorn, the spiky elf-tree (or tree-elf?)
(Contains violence. Surely you had seen this coming, right? I mean, I am an orc, we 've already established that)
After having had a good look around and taking pleasure in scaring off the small animals in the forest,  he decided to talk to one of the trees. This was far less stupid than you actually might have thought. Looking like a tree himself it was at least slightly reasonable. But the tree seemed to think otherwise and remained silent. So he moved on to get some idea what was going on. At least that is what he later claimed to have done. I personally think he had no idea whatsoever and dawdled in the woods when suddenly he heard someone singing. Voices of elves transported love, warmth and security towards him. He followed those disgusting sounds to a clearing where he had to face a truly horrible sight: beautiful surroundings, lanterns, cooked food, fresh fruit, flowers in full blossom. Even worse: dark elves and fair-skinned wood elves, sitting around campfires, naked, singing, feasting and shagging all together, in peaceful harmony.
Now, here's the thing: if you're not familiar with the deadly hatred that had been treasured as a traditional habit between those two races, you might wonder what the fuss is all about. But you have to believe me that this harmonious sing-along was by no means normal and gave poor Vorn the shock of a lifetime. Everything he knew as a certainty had been tainted with a trace of doubt all of a sudden. (I feel almost disgustingly poetic by recounting his presumed state of mind)
In order to find out what the fuck was going on he decided to join them. Unfortunately (for him, not for you and me) he could not get naked because underneath his spiky wooden armor his skin had partially morphed into bark which might have occured as strange even to them. So he just stepped onto the clearing. But instead of fleeing or fighting they welcomed him. What's more, they included him in all of their activities. Vorn began to like and enjoy it and wondered why he should ever leave again. None of them seemed to know or remember since when they all had been living together. With a last shred of common sense and truly inherent evil he realized that it might be the constant singing that lulled them into this obscene harmony. When Vorn admitted that he did not know the song they pitied him as a "lost one". To further prove their sickly innocence, one of the she-elves took Vorn with her, deeper into the woods. Even every orc child is warned about the dangers of the woods (being other orcs often enough), but those elves seemed to have forgotten about that important piece of information. She started to grope Vorn while telling him about centaurs. I mean.... He did the only thing that let him keep his dignity: he broke her neck. (You have been warned)
When he returned to the clearing the song sounded disharmonic and the others seemed to fear him. he yelled at them and threw the female's head onto the clearing. Screaming, hysteria, darkness and chaos were the result. He started a killing spree, yelling, urging them to sing his song. You have to admire his stye, really. Vorn single-handedly managed to destroy harmony and innocence, the basic idea of any paradise. Adorable. When the centaurs came to aid the elves, he killed them as well.
Of course even the best frenzy couldn't last forever. Left without anyone to fight he waited till nightfall. A storm was gathering, no singing disturbed its howling. Pleased with himself (and rightly so) he had another look around and spotted a softly glowing blue thread, seemingly dangling in the air.




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If you are an orc, elf, human, dwarf etc, talk to me. If you are a troll, go away.