I'm on fire! I went through 7 chapters in the last couple of days. It is also a bit worrying as I normally have an incredibly short attention span but I seem to have found something to enjoy as I get older. The fact that I can get older as an orc is something of a miracle in itself. Under normal circumstances (living amongst my fellow orcs), I would be smacked on the head with a morningstar in the near future. An orc over the age of thirty is a rare sight to be seen. Perhaps living apart from my tribe is not the worst that ever happened to me. Well, I know for certain that worse things already happened and I might feel inclined to tell you about some of that in the days or weeks to come. But for now let's see what Ms. Austen had in store for us.
Chapter 22
Holy shit, Charlotte!
Showing posts with label Jane Austen. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jane Austen. Show all posts
2014/10/18
2014/10/11
read-along part 7
Chapter 18
Another ball. Soldiers dancing in fancy dress. Guys, you're very lucky that there are apparently no orcs anywhere nearby. Wouldn't survive one little skirmish.
And Wickham turns out to be not only a sissy but also a coward. No surprise there. You can say about Prick Darcy whatever you like but he certainly does not shy away from a confrontation. And he's obviously a masochist, asking Lizzy to dance with him. I cannot shake off the impression that there was a lot more going on while they danced beside what they actually talked about. My human nods vehemently and praises my empathy. Whatever that is. Someone on twitter has accused me of it as well. Is it frightening people? I hope so. But I somehow doubt that it is something praise-worthy among orc warriors. Oh, that's what their dance reminded me of: a duel. Could almost (amost!) imagine them both wielding a morningstar or a battleaxe. Actually I think Lizzy might be an excellent fighter. She certainly has the fierceness. And although she talks a great deal, that never keeps her from taking action whenever neccessary.
Another ball. Soldiers dancing in fancy dress. Guys, you're very lucky that there are apparently no orcs anywhere nearby. Wouldn't survive one little skirmish.
And Wickham turns out to be not only a sissy but also a coward. No surprise there. You can say about Prick Darcy whatever you like but he certainly does not shy away from a confrontation. And he's obviously a masochist, asking Lizzy to dance with him. I cannot shake off the impression that there was a lot more going on while they danced beside what they actually talked about. My human nods vehemently and praises my empathy. Whatever that is. Someone on twitter has accused me of it as well. Is it frightening people? I hope so. But I somehow doubt that it is something praise-worthy among orc warriors. Oh, that's what their dance reminded me of: a duel. Could almost (amost!) imagine them both wielding a morningstar or a battleaxe. Actually I think Lizzy might be an excellent fighter. She certainly has the fierceness. And although she talks a great deal, that never keeps her from taking action whenever neccessary.
2014/10/08
read-along part 6
Chapter 16
I am very tired of Mr. Collins' long explanations and wonder how the Bennets can stand him just an hour longer.
So, Lizzy has taken an immediate fancy to this soldier Wickham. Still in the first quarter of the novel, I fear this bodes ill for her marital bliss with that guy.
You see, the strange thing is this: in this story the soldiers seem to be respectable and honorable men. From my personal experience with human soldiers I cannot confirm that impression. Quite the opposite, I have to say. Drunken mercenaries. Nothing wrong with that, if you ask me, but it's such a striking difference in appearance that had me confused a bit. And to what use is the shiny red coat? Shouldn't they wear some armor? If not chainmail at least some leather? There's no mention of weapons either. They're holding teacups. There's something very wrong with that army.
Also, the way Wickham is described... Ms. Austen praises him too much methinks. I have become rather suspicious due to this dramatic story-telling thingy. And here's the thing: a soldier prefering the idle chit-chat of the ladies instead of playing cards? Something is indeed very wrong with Wickham. Either he's a real sissy or he has an ulterior motive. Probably both.
I am very tired of Mr. Collins' long explanations and wonder how the Bennets can stand him just an hour longer.
So, Lizzy has taken an immediate fancy to this soldier Wickham. Still in the first quarter of the novel, I fear this bodes ill for her marital bliss with that guy.
You see, the strange thing is this: in this story the soldiers seem to be respectable and honorable men. From my personal experience with human soldiers I cannot confirm that impression. Quite the opposite, I have to say. Drunken mercenaries. Nothing wrong with that, if you ask me, but it's such a striking difference in appearance that had me confused a bit. And to what use is the shiny red coat? Shouldn't they wear some armor? If not chainmail at least some leather? There's no mention of weapons either. They're holding teacups. There's something very wrong with that army.
Also, the way Wickham is described... Ms. Austen praises him too much methinks. I have become rather suspicious due to this dramatic story-telling thingy. And here's the thing: a soldier prefering the idle chit-chat of the ladies instead of playing cards? Something is indeed very wrong with Wickham. Either he's a real sissy or he has an ulterior motive. Probably both.
2014/10/03
read-along 5
Chapter 11
Watching some other person read a book is not proper entertainment for the evening. Go, end your life, Ms. Bingley. Prick Darcy won't have you anyway. Uuuh, what is she doing? Dragging Lizzy into this? Big mistake, Caroline, very big mistake. I don't get half of the banter between Prick and Lizzy but even I can see that he enjoys it far more than anyone expected, probably including himself. Maybe he likes to be bossed around for once. I have to admit she has an interesting dominant streak.
Chapter 12
Whatever goes on in Prick Darcy's head, I don't get it. Does he fancy Lizzy or not? If so, why hesitate? The fact that she has a mind of her own should make the hunt only more fun. Like I said: impotent prick.
And someone should have told Ms. Austen that she cannot mention a whipping just in passing. More details, please. What did the soldier do? How many lashes did he get?
Watching some other person read a book is not proper entertainment for the evening. Go, end your life, Ms. Bingley. Prick Darcy won't have you anyway. Uuuh, what is she doing? Dragging Lizzy into this? Big mistake, Caroline, very big mistake. I don't get half of the banter between Prick and Lizzy but even I can see that he enjoys it far more than anyone expected, probably including himself. Maybe he likes to be bossed around for once. I have to admit she has an interesting dominant streak.
Chapter 12
Whatever goes on in Prick Darcy's head, I don't get it. Does he fancy Lizzy or not? If so, why hesitate? The fact that she has a mind of her own should make the hunt only more fun. Like I said: impotent prick.
And someone should have told Ms. Austen that she cannot mention a whipping just in passing. More details, please. What did the soldier do? How many lashes did he get?
2014/10/02
read-along part 4
Before I continue with my views on the book let me confide something.
Reading about all of Mrs. Bennet's daughters put me in a strange kind of mood. I miss them, my own daughters I mean. Not that I wish to be with them (my nerves are just as strained as poor Mrs. Bennet's), but still. It's not an easy task to find a proper husband for any of them. To be honest, I had left it mostly to themselves to find one. Well, I more or less pushed two of them into the tents of my friends (the tribe's cleric and Noden). It goes like this: if they don't get out immediately that counts as marriage. At least where I come from. This whole courtship-thingy sounds very tiresome. And it's getting poor Mrs. Bennet nowhere. The husband is basically useless. I wonder if my wives regard me as such a lazy bugger. Should I have taken more responsibility to get rid of the girls? To be honest I don't want to get rid of Shonka. She'll make a great warrior one day, pretty much already is a frightful sight to behold. And she doesn't fancy male orcs anyway. Oh, hang on! Maybe that's at the root of Mr. Darcy's problems with women. He might fancy his friend more than the ladies. Would explain a lot. Let's see how the story unfolds:
Reading about all of Mrs. Bennet's daughters put me in a strange kind of mood. I miss them, my own daughters I mean. Not that I wish to be with them (my nerves are just as strained as poor Mrs. Bennet's), but still. It's not an easy task to find a proper husband for any of them. To be honest, I had left it mostly to themselves to find one. Well, I more or less pushed two of them into the tents of my friends (the tribe's cleric and Noden). It goes like this: if they don't get out immediately that counts as marriage. At least where I come from. This whole courtship-thingy sounds very tiresome. And it's getting poor Mrs. Bennet nowhere. The husband is basically useless. I wonder if my wives regard me as such a lazy bugger. Should I have taken more responsibility to get rid of the girls? To be honest I don't want to get rid of Shonka. She'll make a great warrior one day, pretty much already is a frightful sight to behold. And she doesn't fancy male orcs anyway. Oh, hang on! Maybe that's at the root of Mr. Darcy's problems with women. He might fancy his friend more than the ladies. Would explain a lot. Let's see how the story unfolds:
2014/09/28
Read-along, part two
Just in case you forgot which book I'm currently reading: it is Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice. Have not seen much of both so far but... way to go.
So, here are my thoughts on:
Chapter two
Mr. Bennet's common sense returned just in time. And yet he failed to secure the young man as his son-in-law. Maybe he should have threatened to offer all five girls at once. I assume that would have made Mr. Bingley more willing to pick at least one of them. Mr. Bennet is a weakling. On the other hand, I can perfectly understand that he cherishes a quiet house and doesn't want to be bothered with such domestic stuff. Shouldn't that be even more reason for him to press the matter? His wife is much more determined. Maybe the girls eat too much and leave not enough for herself. Also, there is no mention of sons. Why did Mr. Bennet not take more wives in order to get some boys?
My human just informs me that polygamy is not allowed around here. Bugger.
Chapter three
So the girls are not allowed to visit the target by themselves? How stupid a rule is that? They seem eager enough to get out of the house, so by then they could have settled the whole business. The author didn't think it through, obviously.
Alright, the ball thing sounds like good fun. Wild dancing and lots of alcohol should finally do the trick. But why indoors? That would never leave enough space for the wild dances.
Human just tells me that dancing in Ms. Austen's world is much more prudish and demure. Don't they ever have some real fun?
Well, at least Mr. Bingley is entirely hooked and very willing to be trapped once and for all. But his friend, Mr. Darcy, is a prick. Maybe one day an angry god will teach him a lesson and bestow a clawful of daughters on him. Would serve him right. Prick.
So, here are my thoughts on:
Chapter two
Mr. Bennet's common sense returned just in time. And yet he failed to secure the young man as his son-in-law. Maybe he should have threatened to offer all five girls at once. I assume that would have made Mr. Bingley more willing to pick at least one of them. Mr. Bennet is a weakling. On the other hand, I can perfectly understand that he cherishes a quiet house and doesn't want to be bothered with such domestic stuff. Shouldn't that be even more reason for him to press the matter? His wife is much more determined. Maybe the girls eat too much and leave not enough for herself. Also, there is no mention of sons. Why did Mr. Bennet not take more wives in order to get some boys?
My human just informs me that polygamy is not allowed around here. Bugger.
Chapter three
So the girls are not allowed to visit the target by themselves? How stupid a rule is that? They seem eager enough to get out of the house, so by then they could have settled the whole business. The author didn't think it through, obviously.
Alright, the ball thing sounds like good fun. Wild dancing and lots of alcohol should finally do the trick. But why indoors? That would never leave enough space for the wild dances.
Human just tells me that dancing in Ms. Austen's world is much more prudish and demure. Don't they ever have some real fun?
Well, at least Mr. Bingley is entirely hooked and very willing to be trapped once and for all. But his friend, Mr. Darcy, is a prick. Maybe one day an angry god will teach him a lesson and bestow a clawful of daughters on him. Would serve him right. Prick.
2014/09/26
Read-along part 1
Chapter One
Obviously. I flipped through the pages and realized to my utter horror that there are more chapters than I can count. And it was such a thin book...
Anyway, chapter one.
I am very much with Mrs. Bennet here. Blessed (or rather cursed) with approximately five daughters myself I can absolutely relate to her problem. That she needs to urge her husband to get rid of the girls makes me wonder about his common sense.
Other than that I am already confused with all the different names. I can hardly remember all the names of my own offspring (often enough I don't). But I find it highly disturbing that the young man who's going to live in the neighbourhood is totally oblivious to the dangers awaiting him. On the other hand, had he been warned, Mrs. Bennet wouldn't stand the slightest chance to burden him with one of her girls.
The strangest thing is this: although it is only written words I feel like I know exactly what Mrs. Bennet's voice would sound like. And this makes me feel for her husband a bit as well (NOT in a sissy way, shut up!). If her voice hurts only half as much as my wives' voices hurt in my ears, I can understand why he tries to avoid any form of conversation with her. Quietude is a blessing lost to all of us fathers.
So, if you've read this chapter of Pride & Prejudice tell me what you think. I hope you are spared the disturbing images in your mind of orcs in regency dresses. I shall never recover from that.
Obviously. I flipped through the pages and realized to my utter horror that there are more chapters than I can count. And it was such a thin book...
Anyway, chapter one.
I am very much with Mrs. Bennet here. Blessed (or rather cursed) with approximately five daughters myself I can absolutely relate to her problem. That she needs to urge her husband to get rid of the girls makes me wonder about his common sense.
Other than that I am already confused with all the different names. I can hardly remember all the names of my own offspring (often enough I don't). But I find it highly disturbing that the young man who's going to live in the neighbourhood is totally oblivious to the dangers awaiting him. On the other hand, had he been warned, Mrs. Bennet wouldn't stand the slightest chance to burden him with one of her girls.
The strangest thing is this: although it is only written words I feel like I know exactly what Mrs. Bennet's voice would sound like. And this makes me feel for her husband a bit as well (NOT in a sissy way, shut up!). If her voice hurts only half as much as my wives' voices hurt in my ears, I can understand why he tries to avoid any form of conversation with her. Quietude is a blessing lost to all of us fathers.
So, if you've read this chapter of Pride & Prejudice tell me what you think. I hope you are spared the disturbing images in your mind of orcs in regency dresses. I shall never recover from that.
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